I began reflecting on this latest blog before the coronavirus sped up and “took over”.
I had been thinking about awareness in human form and how, from this human perspective, we are here – we do live in a body; we do think about our survival.
And here we are . . . in the midst of a global upheaval and in the midst of having nowhere to go, in the sense of our usual busyness and distractions.
If you are drawn to blogs like this one, you likely know . . . (you have heard, you have had glimpses, maybe savored long and longer visits); there is something much deeper and more profoundly real about us than our drive for survival, a ground of being that is free and expansive. An endless, boundless spaciousness that effortlessly absorbs and dissolves mind chatter, conditioning and fears of survival; body and existential, just as a drop of poison dissolves in the ocean.
An open-ended stream of ease and joy that is untouched and unbothered, no matter the size or intensity of the upheaval going on at the human level.
And here we are . . . spacious awareness in human form, experiencing a pandemic. How often have spiritual teachings pointed to the fact that, in truth, we cannot be certain of anything, not really. And here we are . . . living inside a profound unknown and the visceral reminder that we are not in control and someone coughing on the other side of the world does impact us.
Talk about waking up from deep illusions.
The illusion that we are in charge and the illusion that we somehow don’t all breath the same air.
And here we are . . . stopped in our tracks and facing the truth of not being in charge. Brought smack into reality . . . everything comes and goes, everything and everyone, at some point, comes to an end.
To this end I have been thinking a lot these days about fear . . . about grief . . . and about death.
In optimistic moments I wonder if we humans might make good use of this pandemic . . . the pandemic of the virus that is bringing just about everything and everyone to a halt and the pandemic of fear that is not only rampant right now but has governed how we live, always.
Many are afraid right now. I don’t take lightly what it actually means to let go of perceived control. Especially for those of us who have been through trauma.
I notice how many layers and faces fear has. I think it is one of the most unpopular emotions . . . we are often afraid of being afraid . . . what if I am overwhelmed and cannot bear it? Or - I will feel weak; I will look weak. I will feel vulnerable . . . dear god, I will feel hopeless, and even worse helpless. Often, we carry this dread of vulnerability and dependency from early, early on in childhood.
And yet, an exquisite truth, when willing to face it, is the freedom that comes from viscerally knowing I am humble and nakedly vulnerable, directly exposed to all that is. Ironically, true transcendence reveals itself in utter defenselessness.
Back to fear: dig a bit deeper and you’ll find fear of loss and the inevitability of death, the reality of our mortality.
Now, imagine, for a moment, getting real, facing this reality and feeling into all that might mean to you. What if you didn’t demonize your fear, didn’t give into it and didn’t deny it or succumb to magical thinking?
Instead, listen for its’ wisdom. What might it be telling you about what is at work; what is being broadcast?
Our world has been interrupted, stopping the endless noise of divisions and distractions. It is hard to listen when we are so busy all the time. But the foundation is giving way, buckling.
I think if we listen, we will see what we have been avoiding.
We are not well. None of us; all of us are suffering.
And here we are - stopped. And now, what if we get still. Get still and listen. See through the illusion of being separate and discover how to genuinely consider the concerns of all. Throughout time we have typically become our better selves during crisis. Now we see that as people stay home, sheltering in place, for the good of the community. We see people offering their resources, talents, and services generously so everyone benefits. We are asked to be cautious and yet kind; to be clear we either stand by each other or fall together.
We are able to move beyond our individual concerns and divisions when we are not frightened; when we are willing to own our fears instead of blaming and scapegoating “others”, when we opt for genuine deep connection, free from fear and “control”.
Experience has shown me over and over again, sitting still and being with whatever is happening, listening to the clock tick, feeding the crows; being with whatever I am feeling, effortlessly immerses me into the field of spacious well-being. I am overcome with peace, gratitude and even joy. It is how come the “now” is so magical, so clear and penetrating.
And in this place, unity is the realest of real and being open hearted to everyone and everything is simply the way it is.
When it comes down to it, the invitation is . . . no, not only an invitation, but an offering, a gift . . . to open our eyes, relinquish the out-of-whack reliance we have on our thinking minds and travel deep into the mind of the heart - fully open-hearted in the midst of a pandemic.
Maybe, just maybe we will make use of this world-wide shock.
May our hearts break open together.
Here’s a beautiful musical coming together I thought to share – may our hearts soar.